Homosexual Relationships
by Cynthia G. Wagner
Institutional support might bring more-stable relationships among gays.
Conflicts come to most couples, over most of the same things: Whose turn is it to clean
the tub? How much was spent on that new jacket? Whose family should we spend the holidays
with? And couples sometimes break up.
As society looks to the question of allowing same-sex marriages (or banning them), more
research is being done on the nature and quality of gay and lesbian relationships, and
whether they differ from heterosexual relationships. Researchers hope to learn how to
predict the success of relationships and how to improve them, enhancing the quality of
people's lives. Researchers also want a better understanding of the differences that are
often cited to support different treatment of homosexuals under the law.
Do gay and lesbian couples have as good a chance at maintaining stable and satisfying
unions over the long term as do heterosexuals? So far, psychological research on
homosexual relationships has been too scant to provide clear answers to such questions,
but some conclusions may be drawn, according to Lawrence A. Kurdek of Wright State
University.
From his meta-analysis of studies that have been made of gay and lesbian couples,
Kurdek suggests that there may be more similarities than differences between homosexual
and heterosexual relationships. The issues that matter to a couple are often the same,
such as division of household chores, sources of conflict and satisfaction, and the need
for a supportive social network (family and/or friends). And the factors that will predict
the success or failure of the relationship are also similar: personality traits, level of
trust and respect, and ability to communicate and resolve conflicts.
"Although members of gay and lesbian couples do not divide household labor in a
perfectly equal manner, they are more likely than members of heterosexual couples to
negotiate a balance between achieving a fair distribution of household labor and
accommodating the different interests, skills, and work schedules of particular
partners," Kurdek notes.
Conflict resolution may also be more effective among homosexual partners. Whether due
to biology or acculturation, men and women tend to perceive the world differently,
creating a source of conflict that does not affect a same-sex couple. Kurdek cites studies
showing that gay and lesbian partners tend to begin discussing their problems with a more
positive attitude than do heterosexual couples, and they develop more possible solutions
and compromises in the course of the discussion.
Despite this more-civil approach to resolving problems, homosexual relationships are
more likely to dissolve than heterosexual relationships, Kurdek notes. In studies of
married heterosexual, cohabiting heterosexual, gay, and lesbian couples, the least likely
to have dissolved their relationship after 18 months were married couples (4%); the most
likely were lesbian couples (18%).
Because the dissolution rates were roughly similar for all couples who cohabited,
whether gay or straight, and were consistently higher than for married heterosexual
couples, Kurdek believes that it is the institution of marriage itself that may help keep
the relationships intact over time. A study in Norway and Sweden found that
state-sanctioned unions for gays and lesbians did reduce the break-up rates for couples,
though they were still higher than for married heterosexuals.
Marriage (or other legally sanctioned union) has a positive influence on relationship
outcomes, both because it is a culturally supported institution and because it simply
makes breaking up harder to do, says Kurdek. Without the backing of society and their own
social networks (supportive family and friends), gay and lesbian couples have an uphill
battle in maintaining their relationships.
Source: "What Do We Know About Gay and Lesbian Couples?" by Lawrence
A. Kurdek (Wright State University, larry.kurdek@wright.edu). Current Directions in
Psychological Science (October 2005).
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